Wednesday, June 01, 2005

I'm going for a second career as a Ray Charles impersonator.

... So there I was sitting at home and flipping through cable, when I came across Mario Cantone’s one-man-show on Showtime called ‘Laugh Whore.’ Any Sex in the City watchers out there will know him as Anthony, Charlotte’s gay-man-in-whining who tended to give pretty caustic, but hilarious, advice.. Cantone had a run on Broadway with this new show and they luckily taped it to show later. It was fantastic!

Aside from the standard gay humor points (Judy, Liza, Rosie, Barbara, etc), he did some spot-on impressions, a few original songs and basically seemed to me the gay equivalent to Robin Williams with his very manic, but funny, delivery. I highly recommend checking this one out kiddos. It’s a real fun couple of hours... His take on Katherine Hepburn especially is a classic bit.

Speaking of television: What the hell is happening to gay characters (and their plotlines) on various sitcoms & series? Will & Grace has been trash for a couple of seasons now, with the only redeeming value in the show being Megan Mullally. Why not scrap the rest of the cast and just give her a show of her own? Oh wait a minute, they are... Starting in the spring of 2006. Joy!

Queer as Folk’s new season is ridiculous. The writing on that show is so bad, you can practically see Sharon Gless wince at the words she’s having to speak. Get that woman out of there before she goes down with the ship. Gless is the only thing worth watching in QAF right now and the storylines just keep getting more unbelievable as time goes on. Maybe Gless and Mullally should team up and have their own show together. Add in a cameo from Tyne Daly and you’d have the gayest 'Cagney & Lacey' reunion show ever...

After Queer as Folk dies, i'll be available at private functions as a Warhol impersonator...

While I don’t have much in terms of gossip this week, here’s a little secondhand info from a friend of mine who’s a production assistant in LA:

It’s no secret that even hugely paid stars love free swag and goodie bags as much as your average, everyday Hollywood party free-loader. But nobody can top this pretty young TV and movie princess for nerviness when it comes to shoving her way to the head of the line for handouts, making her embarrassed, overworked personal assistants ask for more, and hoarding so much free swag and so many goodie bags that she’s amassed an entire walk-in closet of the stuff in her Hollywood Hills home. Sure, she keeps some of those free cell phones and makeup and beauty products, but she also has her assistants sell off some of the stuff on eBay, which she carefully tracks every day to make sure they’re not cheating her. Greedy and insecure much, sweetheart? Well, we guess we’d be too if our last four movies and a TV pilot had tanked.

I also got some chatter on Andy Roddick and a whole growth hormone scandal. I’m not sure whether or not it’s true, but sources (whomever they may be) say that Roddick ‘went away’ from competition for a couple of years back when he was 18-19 years old to get shot up with growth hormone to make him taller. Here’s the poop straight from the source:

Take nothing away from Andy Roddick and his success. You still have to produce no matter how much Gh or decca you inject into your butt cheeks. That shit will not make you make you hit that 2nd serve ace when your down break point. However, I grew up with Andy in the juniors and knew him since we were 11. We practiced for years at the Macci academy in Delray. The kid was always cocky and had awesome skills, but he lacked size. It was clear he was not going to grow because his mom, dad and two bros are small and stocky. Like 5 ft 6 avg. Andy lacked this one important attribute, size. When he was an old 16, he started to fill out, then he disappeared from the junior scene for seven, eight months, and came back and was 6 ft 2. The guy wanted it so bad , he would do anything. Anyway, he would speak openly to me and a couple other close friends that he took a cycle of growth hormone, but that it had been administered under a professional environment with doctors that knew what they were doing. At the time we were a little surprised, but like I said the guy still practiced 3 hours in the morning and 3 hours in the after noon six maybe seven days a week. So yeah he may have cheated but he still has earned it.

Interesting. It’s amazing what lengths we go to achieve success. Such is the human condition, eh? It still doesn't take away from the fact that Roddick works his ass off and is an amazing player.

Oh yeah, almost forgot: I got some interestingly scandalous images of Nick Cater (of Backstreet Boys fame) who’s obviously packing more than just a good voice. Maybe Paris Hilton wasn’t so unlucky to have bedded this young stud. Have a look for yourself...

Hypnotic, isn't it?

Click HERE for the moving picture. WHOOHOO! Who says that going commando is a bad thing? (note: You may want to save this GIF onto your hard drive to see it move as fluidly as i do. Geocities hosting seems to slow down the image. FYI)

On my way out of San Antonio last week, I had the interesting pleasure of standing next to the good reverend Jesse Jackson (in town as a keynote speaker for a huge convention), who was going through security with me. We eventually ended up on the same flight, but while in line I got the guff to talk to him. I told him I had previously been a resident of Chicago (a city he’s most famous, and infamous, in) and have kept up with his doings.

'Right to remain silent' my ass...

He seemed quite pleased that a young person recognized him. I also asked him about his son’s chances of taking over as mayor in Chitown from the Richard Daley Dynasty. He seemed pretty confident, as I would have expected, but surprised me by really taking the time to talk with me about his son’s political direction and how this was only one step in the overall game plan of WORLDWIDE DOMINATION!!!! *cue melody to 'One Life to Live'*

But seriously, he seemed like a perfectly amicable guy. I was entranced by the cadence of his voice. It was a strange mix of carnival barker and a drugged auctioneer. His use of sweeping arm gestures seemed to frighten the TSA officers working the x-ray machine... Or it simply could have been the 3 or 4 very large bodyguards he had with him. Who knows.

Anyway... This past week I spent some quality time in Philly, enjoying the city and having the experience of getting thrown out of the US Mint. I shit you not. It was quite a bit like getting too many technicals in an NBA game and the guard suddenly said to us ‘You’re outta here.’ I probably would have thrown a chair or something (ala Phil Jackson of the Chicago Bulls dynasty), but the Mint was thinking two steps ahead of me and didn’t leave anything out on the floor.

DRAT! The bastards... I’ll be back ;)

While I was in Philly, I also noticed the high population of hot, rougher-looking guys. Don’t get me wrong, as I’m not into street-trash, but just guys who are real guys. Not metrosexuals or inherently pretty Abercrombie guys, but REAL men. The neighborhood I was in was filled with these nicely muscled, jock-grabbing, Jersey-sounding, Marky-Mark looking dudes who seemed to never be able to find a shirt to wear and had their shorts hanging down to their pubes. Everyday I’d go out and jog, always getting an eyeful of these hot guys and began wondering if I could lure them back to the house with promises of candy, cheese steaks and Colt 45.

I’m turning into such a dirty old man.

In any event, it was eye candy of the first order and made for an enjoyable jog :)

This week’s EYE CANDY is a nice bunch, so I thought I’d do a small.... er, large... salute to nice looking cock. Handsome penis is always appreciated and warranted in life:

On the topic of FREE SITES OF THE WEEK, I’ve got two real doozies for ya. The first is a non-XXX site, but it’s filled with some of the hottest images of male models I’ve ever seen. I had a whack attack about 5 seconds into this website, so be warned. It’s whacktastic!

The Male Beauty Male Models site.

The second site is another compilation site that has a HUGE collection of images and should keep you busy for at least a day. It's not a totally free site, but the owner (Chris Geary) has a very impressive collection of circuit party pics, muscleboy images and wrestling fetish photos. Easy to navigate and from what i can tell, no pop-ups.

Chris Geary on the Web

As a side note for those of you who like to try new things in the shower, might I recommend a great company from the UK called LUSH. No, it’s not a site dedicated to the drunken-stylings of Peter O’Toole, but an all-natural version of Bath and Body Works that uses ingredients so fresh that they actually have expiration dates. Pretty cool. I’m using some of their shampoo, along with some face cleansers and really think it’s good stuff. This is not a paid endorsement, but simply matter-of-fact. I’ve even started implementing their melting massage bars with my guys who enjoy a little rubdown. They’re awesome. Check out the site for more info and to receive a catalog of their products.

This is me after finding out that Lush doesn't carry an all-natural lube...

... And now it’s time to hit the gym hard. Thanks for tuning in this week and look for Benjamin’s writings on Dan Savage’s in the coming weeks! I’m really excited about doing a piece for his site (which is amazing if you haven’t checked it out) and relish getting back into consistent writing again. Maybe my old journalism prof was right after all and that I’ll ‘someday make one heck of a writer.’ We’ll see I guess.

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"Acting is merely the art of keeping large amounts of people from coughing" – Sir John Gielgud

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