Tuesday, August 01, 2006
We told ya so...
The water was as cold as ice, but at this altitude and on such a sunny day, it felt like perfection as we floated quickly down Clear Creek. The small inflatable device sat only four of us, each perched perilously close to the edge, only a thin rope biting down on my left foot keeping me in the boat. It’s that healthy combination of fear and lust for the rush that truly makes an activity like white water rafting gratifying. There are times in your life when taking the risk is worth the reward. This was one of those few times.
Getting to Colorado was an adventure-in-itself. Flying with Frontier Airlines was an unexpected delight, as they had a truly happy flight crew who took major time to make sure their cabin was happy and comfortable. Added, the live DirectTV feed didn’t hurt, as I could watch femi-nazi Nancy Grace the whole way to Denver and hatch my eventual plan to duct-tape her to Star Jones and throw the both of them in a small cage. I’d be willing to bet money that Star is the first one to resort to cannibalism... Call it a hunch.
Nancy Grace, recently seen speaking at a 'Really, Really Bad Hairdo' convention. She was the key-note...
Spending the night in Denver (a city I’d like to spend more time in), we made the trek to Winter Park to spend the day doing our best impersonations of Meryl Streep in River Wild. On the way, there was a quick stop at some local casinos, but due to some rather funky blackjack house rules, we quickly picked up chip and left.
WWMD? (What Would Meryl Do?)
There were three groups rafting the river with us that afternoon, each one with a guide in the rear who shouted out paddle commands to us like some sort of tourettes-laden Nazi. Luckily, the gal we had with us was laid-back and really did a good job of guiding us over, around and beside the dangerous stuff. We were rafting on Class-4 and 5 rapids, so that meant that we had to stay alert while maintaining a steady pace with the rest of the people in the boat. Lots of peripheral vision going on, but it was incredibly fun and a really great core workout. I woke up the next morning sore as a whore through my lats down to my lower abdominals. It was awesome.
It’s funny, but I sort of found a new fetish of mine while I was rafting: Wetsuits. I was wearing a sleeveless shorty on the river and thought the way it fit was actually pretty erotic. It’s snug, it’s contours the muscles and it reminds me of all the guys I used to surf with when I lived on the coast. All-in-all, I’d say HELL YEAH to that scene. I guess that wearing a singlet could give me the same feeling, but that’s not as sexy to me as the surfer scene.
*adjusts crotch* Okay, it’s time for me to stop.
Later that night, we ended up heading to Hot Sulphur Springs and sitting in the natural pools, basically just relaxing and watching a particularly spectacular sunset. The water temperature of the 20 or so pools ranged from 95 to 110 degrees. Sulphur has a property of both softening skin and clearing up any blemishes or impurities it might have, so once you’ve adjusted to the water temp, you can feel good about just sitting back and soaking it all up. While I didn’t see anything blatantly cruisy going on, this place just reeked of past-gay sex. It had a very ‘70s aesthetic and something told me that the nooks & crannies of this place have more than been explored under the guise of being mostly naked and very relaxed.
I was just psyched because I got to wear a new pair of speedo-style Andrew Christians. They ride really low, but keep things well-supported. Got a killer deal on them.
Thanks to a hawk-eyed reader, I got some inspiration for an annual polling issue of 15 Minutes involving the adult/sex industry. While the Grabbys and Gay AVN’s all stick to more tried-and-true awards like ‘Best Newcomer,’ ‘Best Bottom,’ and ‘Best Video.’ this set of awards will feature categories like ‘Most Likely to Hook on Sunset,’ ‘Best Taste in Lube,’ ‘Worst/Best Dressed’ and ‘Strangest Crotch Odor.’ It’s a free-for-all and nominations for almost-unmentionable talents & abilities are now open by emailing:
Right now, I’m just accepting award categories, but will be soon looking for nominations, so stay tuned and keep those thinking caps stapled firmly in place.
PASSION OF THE COCKTAIL... By now, the news of Mel Gibson getting caught for driving drunk is yesterday’s headlines, but very few know exactly what was said at the scene of the crime. Gibson repeatedly referred to a female officer as ‘sugartits’ and then went as far as to make disparaging comments about the Jewish. Real classy Mel. Maybe you should have taken that whole ‘right to remain silent’ thing a bit more seriously.
We here at the 15 are swooning over the inclusion of gay porn newbie Danny Roddick as a COLT exclusive. Seems to me that signing ‘exclusively’ with one production company can limit your audience (paging Matt Rush) and finances, sometimes causing a star to look into other ventures. From what my sources tell me, an exclusive contract with any major studio is usually around $40k a year. That sure sounds like a lot of work, especially when you consider the performer isn't even allowed to work for anyone else. Much like a pair of improperly fitted AussieBums, it just seems too binding...
Congrats to Jenna Jameson for scoring a life-size waxwork at Tussauds in Las Vegas. It was only a matter of time before it happened, as The Venetian (the hotel that hosts Mdm. Tussauds show) also co-owns the Jameson-inspired Vivid Nightclub, named after the video company she started making features with.
What sort of evil grip does the Hedi Klum reality shlockfest Project Runway have over me? Well, it sure as hell forced my hand to buy seasons 1 & 2 on DVD. I've been watching when i can and have found great solace in Heidi's inability to pronounce english words with the correct inflection. It's like some sort of twisted drinking game: You must take a shot everytime Heidi stammers over the word 'top stitch.' We'd all be toasted by the time the first designer was eliminated...
In the war between HD-DVD and Blu-Ray (the two new formats for at-home high def DVD), it looks as if HD-DVD is the reigning king... So far. Why? Well, Blu-Ray may be more ambitious with a greater capacity for information storage, but when push comes to shove, HD-DVD uses higher quality (and faster) decoding software. Add that to a cheaper $500 price tag (Blu-Ray is around $1k) and you've got yourself a winner. I had a chance to test out both players and while they're both SUPER slow in loading times, the picture was seriously better on the HD-DVD player. Keep in mind that for the absolute best image possible, you'll be needing a high def television that can decode 1080p.
Benjamin's Seinfeld Moment: What's the deal with self-flush toilets?
I see them all the time in airports, as they've pretty much become the standard for those people who think being lethargic should be an Olympic sport. Damn it, it's my American right to flush when i'm good and ready! Take Chicago's O'Hare airport for example: They have the right idea by putting those automatic toilet seat covers down, but jeesh if the 'eye' of the device isn't set at 'flush only in the event of an asbestos fire.' I especially hate when they don't even give you the little button on the side of the device so that you can courtesy flush if the mood strikes.
Don't even get me started on the ones that flush continuously... You can literally walk out of the restroom soaking wet. The guys in the next stall think you had curry for lunch because the toilet is flushing every 10 seconds. That's when you get inspired and try to stay perfectly still so the 'eye' doesn't think you've gotten up. Suddenly you feel like a prisioner in your own stall and you don't even have Dick Cheney's cell phone number on speed dial.
I truly think that at an airport that continually delays their passengers, we should have the right to flush when we damn well please. Write your congressman today.
This week’s WHACKOFF OF THE WEEK comes in the form of a listing site that really does prove that bigger is better. MenOnTheNet is a great resource for those looking for listing in entirety without having to search throughout the web.
EYE CANDY this week is pretty damned good to look at and big thanks to my Key West Connection and Muffin in Gibbstown for always sending in such flawless guys to gawk at. Enjoy!
'Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker' ---- Willy Wonka