Friday, August 11, 2006

Let’s make it short and sweet: The TSA are the dregs of the government employee hierarchy and their latest attempt at making ‘flying the friendly skies’ a whole lot more friendly is absurd. If you want the whole enchilada, click HERE. Read em’ and weep.

In my life there are very few things I consider true luxuries. I don’t shop that much, I’m rarely in San Antonio long enough to contribute to the local economy (other than monthly bills) and whatever I earn, I invest or simply put away. All of that being said, this week’s ultimate luxury came in the form of a few days at home without to worry about re-packing my bag, running through airports or dealing with those damned automatic-flush toilets (see the last blog entry if you’re confused on that last one).

I wasted nearly a whole day just sitting at the downtown Starbucks. Those who know me also know that I’m pretty much anti-cooperate coffee and hauling my cookies into a Starbucks takes an act of God or at least the addition of half-naked go-go boys at the java pickup counter. That considered, this ‘Bucks in downtown SA is one of only three concept stores in the states that allows you to not only get your caffeine fix, but also burn your own mix-cd’s from their vast library of music choices. Touchscreen monitors are everywhere and the layout & design is a-typical of your usual Starbucks. It’s like Lost in Space meets Busby Berkeley.

She could stand to put down the latte and pick up a sandwich actually...

It’s a great concept overall that they hope to roll-out in all of their major market cities. This might be just the store to grab all of those who are ‘anti-Starbucks,’ as it still offers horribly overpriced (and frighteningly fattening) beverages but with the very marketable twist for people who love the diversity of music.

I just finished the DVD set of Season Two of Project Runway: I’m maliciously salivating at those who have caught the newest season on Bravo from the beginning because I’m just waiting until the whole season is out on DVD down the road. It’s the same thing I’m doing with Desperate Housewives Season Two. See, I’ve got a TiVo, but not the time to watch what I record. It’s just too much power for one man to handle and I’m afraid that if I form a strong bond with my DVR, I just may become a hermit, sitting around the house all day dusting the machine and whispering sweet-nothings into its cooling vents.

I really don’t think Pfizer makes a drug for that...

In watching the show, I’ve come to do a pretty good impersonation of judge and designer Michael Kors. His voice closely resembles that of a gay man chewing saltwater taffy. He’s serves as the gay counterpart to fellow judge (and Anna Wintour-wannabe) Nina Garcia, both of whom rule with an iron fist and bring new meaning to the term ‘two people who have the fashion sense of peat moss and share a combined IQ of 12.’ I’ve also noticed that Kors strangely resembles Burt Lahr in The Wizard of Oz. See for yourself:

Seperated at birth?

So, yeah.... Tim Gunn (on Project Runway) is my new heartthrob. Move over Donny Osmond! Call me crazy, but there’s something wildly handsome about the guy and also a bit sad considering he hasn’t dated since the mid-‘80s (as told by Gunn to Out Magazine). He still holds some sort of torch for his last partner, so he’s basically gone clergy on the gay world and probably masturbates like a wild baboon several times a day. His blog on the BravoTV website is fantastic and I’ve just ordered a ‘Make it Work’ t-shirt, thus solidifying my allegiance to a man who may definitely need the company of a male escort in the very near future.

*cue snappy segway music*

And speaking of male escorts, it looks like the well-worn and informative Hooboy’s Male Escort Review site is down for good. I’m not really sure how I feel about this. Definitely not happy in any way, but it’s a little bit of shock mixed with a strange sense of conclusion.

‘Hooboy’ was an actual person who (thanks to former escort Aaron Lawrence) started this review site in hopes of changing and organizing the way this industry functioned for the better. This venture was his basically his retirement project from his past life. What started off as a very small niche website, turned into a massive business that encompassed a variety of information... Some good, some bad.

With Hooboy passing away, it was left to his estate to determine the fate of this much-talked about website. With its closure goes the last remaining shred of the ‘Hooboy’ persona. Yes, people will still talk about him and how he changed things for the better, but as far as a concrete site that he built from the ground up, it’s gone forever. To me that’s incredibly sad. I do understand why the estate felt it necessary to pull the plug, but that doesn’t change the fact that for those who only knew him as ‘Hooboy,’ this is the final part of his legacy being taken offline.

Luckily, from destruction comes rebirth: The webmaster of M4M has decided to take things into his own hands and keep the ball rolling. Daddy’s Reviews, as well as the continuation of their popular M4M Message Center is getting online day-by-day and will hopefully continue the legacy that Hooboy so impressively started.

Oscar buzz is already surrounding the December 2006 release of the movie-musical version of
Dreamgirls, starring Jennifer Hudson and Beyonce Knowles, but true ‘Effie-philes’ are finding the new dance remixes from the show to be just enough to tide them over. Right now, ‘One Night Only’ (feat. Beyonce) has been released to DJ’s and soon the iconic ‘And I am Telling You’ (feat. Jennifer Hudson) will fill the speakers at clubs across the country.

Rounding out the musical’s cast are Jamie Foxx and Eddie Murphy, both of whom could use a blockbuster movie under their belt right now. The Academy might have rewarded Foxx for his impression in the past, but after more than a few bombs, his career is beginning to look more dismal than Halle Berry’s wig in the Xmen series.

With a $200 million budget, you think they could have run a brush through that thing...

Rumor has it that Murphy is still philandering in his obsession with transsexuals-for-hire. His latest lady comes from the Windy City of Chicago, where ‘she’ performs nightly at
The Baton Show Lounge. Meet Amelia Black:

Think Vanessa Williams... With a cock.

My sources in Chicago say she’s been telling everyone that ‘Eddie bought me my BMW,’ which she drives all over town. I wonder what Nicolle Murphy (Eddie’s ex-wife) thought about all of this? It seems that Eddie has been supporting Amelia since her days as a showgirl at
The Saint in San Antonio and that was years ago when he was still a married man.

Congrats to Jason Adonis for finally getting nailed on-film! It’s about damn time, considering he’s been getting fucked by his studio off-camera for years...

What the flip is up with Bravo not running to renew Kathy Griffin’s ‘Life on the D-List’ reality show for another season? Did they not get the memo that she’s been Emmy-nominated for it or perhaps they’re just pissed off that she let it all hang out on her recent Larry King interview. Either way, Griffin has her ducks-in-a-row with offers from three networks if Bravo decided to dump her show.

Janice Dickinson, we knew ye well. Thank God for YouTube or we might have missed
this incredibly funny moment in cable television.

The Mel Gibson saga continues. Hasn’t this jew-hating, gay-bashing, religious zealot-with-a-receding-hairline suffered enough? .... I didn’t think so either.

Which hunky actor who once picked up a young man and brought him back to the Mercer Hotel in LA for oral sex is now hanging out with a top athlete? The two are said to be more than just workout buddies...

Which blockbusting director with a thing for much much younger boys once dated a 17-year-old who was still living at home? The romance ended when the boy's mother banned her son from seeing him...

This big time hip hop mogul's elegant and beautifully dressed wife was recently shopping at an upscale LA boutique. The exotic beauty made a number of tasteful purchases before she spotted HER HUSBAND'S MISTRESS across the store. The wife went berserk and she instantly became a ghetto-mouth screeching ‘You bitch - you're just after his money!’ ‘ I don't NEED his money - I drive a Range Rover!’ squawked the mistress. ‘Oh yeah’ yapped the wife, swiveling her head ‘Well, I have a Mercedes and a $185000 watch on, bitch! I guess he wants OLD pussy now!’ The mistress spat ‘I can see why he's leaving YOUR skanky ass!’ Before she stormed out, the wife yelled ‘If I wasn't in this store I'd kick your ass right now!’ And we believe her...

This week’s WHACKOFF OF THE WEEK was a tough decision. We had several choices on the desk and things just got stickier from there. After wiping things down and prying more than a couple of staffers off each other, we decided that
Marcelo’s Blog, featuring some fantastic eye candy from around the world, deserved this week’s spot. Enjoy!

The remainder of this month has me in Chicago, NYC, Las Vegas, Key West and Rio. If you happen to see a 6'3" young muscular redhead walking towards you in any of those cities, there’s a good chance it may be me. Don’t forget to stop and say hello...


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