Tuesday, October 03, 2006

I wish i had Corian countertops...

This week has, so far, been quietly spent in San Antonio and enjoying some much-needed non-travel time. I haven't been home in about a month, bouncing from New Orleans to Rio De Janeiro to Milwaukee to NYC and finally to Chicago. That being said: Don’t cry much for me because I create my own schedule, but hell if I’m doing that much travel again in such a small amount of time. Also within that period, I had writing deadlines for local publications I write for, as well as keeping up with an ever-growing mound of email. I’ve always been one to say I like ‘burning the candle at both ends,’ but this was getting ridiculous.

So ridiculous in-fact, that i had started contemplating buying a Dr. Phil book. I soon came to my senses and realized that masochism isn't my thing... If i wanted to delve into the world of self-flagellation, i'd buy a Yanni CD.

You've got to hand it to Yanni... He's trying to spice-up his image

It was a quick weekend trip to New Orleans and I wondered how the grand dame would look after roughly a year of Katrina clean-up. Spending quite a bit of time there in the past gave me a good impression of how the city once looked, but nothing could quite prepare me for its present state. Whole portions of the city are still what appear to be war-zones, with hollowed-out houses, piles of debris and the largest display of homeless I’ve ever seen in the Big Easy. Yes, the French Quarter is open for business, but the city as a whole has a long way to go before they recapture the allure and charm the city once had.

Luckily, the creole spirit is still in plentiful reserve, as the people of New Orleans seemed to welcome visitors with open arms. Everywhere I went, I got a genuine smile and a feeling that the city had changed, but not necessarily for the worse. Katrina was horrible, yes, but it also brought a city back together that had for years been ripped apart by poverty, inbred politics and a general covering of grime. I’m not suggesting that the storm was deserved or warranted, but simply served as a wake-up call to an amazing city that let things slide.

Can anyone actually confirm that Chris Owens is a woman? I've got money on this one...

The Windsor Court is a beautiful Orient-Express hotel, located in the heart of the city and one of the few properties in the city to not sustain too much damage during the hurricane. It turned out to be the perfect spot, as it was convenient to the Quarter, as well as just about anything else downtown. The rooms were well appointed, with Molton & Brown bath products, comfortable bedding and more than enough room for a couple (if not more... *evil grin*) to move around in without feeling clustered up.

A stop at Brennans for brunch is tradition and, once again, the legendary restaurant proved why it’s one of the best out there. Waiters who make you feel like family, hollandaise sauce rich enough to stop a speeding train and a general atmosphere of mirth make this original New Orleans eatery better than all of her knockoffs in other cities.

This was just before the heart-attack...

In addition to eating more that humanly possible, I stopped by the New Orleans branch of LUSH. It’s a small store located on Decatur, but they carry the entire line and are pretty liberal when it comes to handing out freebies. If you haven’t tried LUSH yet, check out their website for a store near you (or, like me, you can always order online). All-natural stuff. It’s great.

I go to Rio

I wasn’t expecting Rio to be quite as insane as it was. See, we went down thinking it was going to be a ‘rest and relaxation’ trip. Just sit at the Royal Rio’s pool, catch up on some reading, get some sun and while away the days listening to the sounds of Copacabana.

What ended up happening was something totally different altogether...

Just getting to Rio was an adventure. I was scheduled on American to head out through Miami initially, but due to a plane filling with smoke in San Antonio, we were grounded and had to spend an extra day at home, since the connection situation down to Brazil wouldn’t have worked otherwise. Finally made it out the second day, had a smooth flight down and breezed past immigration in what is usually a 2-hour process, now cut down to 20 minutes. WHOOHOO!

Luckily, my friend set things up for a driver from the airport, as without one you can really get ripped off heading to Ipanema or Copacabana. It’s only about a 20 minute trip, but in terms of US money, I’ve seen guys pay as much as $150 because they didn’t know any better.

The Royal Rio is a hotel I’ve stayed at before, right when it first opened for Carnaval a couple of years ago. Since then, it’s really turned into a full-service modern hotel that rivals anything else that Rio has to offer. Off-season rates are reasonable and snagging a presidential suite for $200 or less isn’t tough to come by. The service is friendly, the facilities clean and the entire structure new and aesthetically pleasing. It’s sort of like a W-style hotel. Very hip in sensibility.

The second day we decided to hook up with my friend’s friend who acted as a guide, showing us some of the downtown area and ending up eating lunch at Confeitaria Colombo which looked like the Walnut Room at Chicago’s Marshall Fields on State Street. It was a beautiful old room, with original stained glass and a real sense of regality about it. Lunch was mainly buffet style. Good selection.

The young guy who showed us around was named Paulo. He was cute in a Skeet Ullrich sort of way, not saying too much and a rather quiet guy all-around. He wasn’t my type sexually, but it was obvious he was available for much more if the situation and money dictated. A little too pushy in some respects.

The second guy we met up with, who helped us around the saunas (and joined us for a few nights to just bum around) was Kevin. He’s a total sweetheart and someone that you could way-too-easily fall in love with. He’s got that twinkle in his eye and is always so freely willing to help you out that you often times forget that this is his job. He’s honestly like an old friend from the moment you meet. For me, comfort factor trumps the cute factor, but luckily Kevin had both and came across with such ease that it made the whole situation that much more fun.

Yeah, so we did end up visiting the saunas while we were down and damn if it didn’t turn out to be some kind of fun. The first night was spent at Club 117. I wasn’t prepared for it’s sheer size, as it’s one of the larger saunas I’ve ever seen. Three floors and bustling with more bare Brazilian flesh that you can imagine. My cohort in crime decided to go with a rather angelic looking younger guy (18-19), while I went against my usual sexual grain and picked up a very broad and muscular guy in his early 30's.

He looked like a trainee from the WWF, with a thick, broad back, perfectly muscled shoulders, tapering down into a V-shaped torso and a tight six-pack stomach. I let him do most of the work, as I was really into just laying back and letting him blow me. He gave excellent head. Just before I was about to blow, he unexpectedly flipped me over, spread my cheeks and proceeded to give me one of the best rimjobs I’ve ever had. While rimming me, he slipped on a raincoat and then pushed his 9" inside of me.

Yeah, so I hadn’t planned on any anal, but this guy was hot, knew how to fuck with a steady rhythm of pounding and basically was hitting all of the right buttons.

I never last as long as I’d like as a bottom, so I ended up flipping him around, putting on some latex and plugging him for awhile. He ended up cumming while getting fucked, hitting his face and forehead in the process. Pretty hot and he finished me off with a great massage.

I used the gym at the Copacabana Palace, which has a good set of free weights, for my workouts while in Rio. We also hit their Sunday brunch and spent a good portion of the afternoon getting soused on champagne and eating things we couldn’t quite pronounce. It was nice just sitting by the pool, enjoying the clear air and giggling at all of the Eurotrash that unfortunately frames the beautiful white-on-white hotel. It was really enjoyable.

Before the trip was over, we ended up going to Pointe 202 (another sauna) and having a three-way with this younger guy who looked a lot like a longer-haired (and cuter) version of Brad Renfro back when he wasn’t cracked out. He didn’t speak much english, but luckily when his clothes came off, the international language of ‘FUCK’ came into play. This kid was about 8" and a machine when it came to topping. I pulled the short straw beforehand and ended up getting slammed for about 30 minutes by this energizer bunny in about 5 different positions. I won’t argue that it felt great, but it’s also one of those situations where you have to be super careful not to do any damage. The kid ended up getting me to pop while standing up, against a wall. It was possibly one of my top 10 best orgasms I’ve ever had. I still feel bad for the person who had to clean up that room. The walls ended up looking like an original Jackson Pollock painting...

Rio, when it’s a little more quiet like it is now (during the low-season) is a real charmer and a place you can get yourself into some much needed trouble. If anyone reading is planning a trip and needs any advice, please don’t hesitate to drop me an email. I’m always listening.

Rumor has it that this particularly popular male escort leads a double life... as a leading lady! I wouldn’t have believed it myself if I didn’t see the photographic evidence, but this very cute guy spends his evenings as a trannie. He’s seemingly got his sights set on competing in the various drag pageant systems.

What Oscar-winner was seen spending a bit too much time at Caesar’s Palace urinals, checking out the special delivery packages of the hunky guys to his right and left? Far from me to criticize a little cock-watching, but maybe this particular guy should be a bit more careful as to who he apes in public places.

He may be a well-known airline owner with a sense for the fantastical, but this billionaire was recently seen sitting in Rio De Janiero’s Corijinas, a well-trafficked M4M pickup joint frequented by streetguys looking to make quick cash. He was joined by a couple of muscular Brazilians and tried to speak as the locals do, but his telltale accent gave him away and he soon got frustrated and left the establishment alone.

These brothers are currently the toast of Hollywood, with one doing film and the other doing television, but therein lies a dark secret: The older brother’s penchant for post-op transsexuals. While this has been going on for some time, word is slowly leaking out and production assistants can’t ignore the parade of trannies heading into his on-set trailer.

I’m keeping my lips sealed for now, but keep an ear out for this mega-superstar pop singer to announce she’s got MS. I was shocked to hear about this, but will wait to break the story until she’s ready to talk openly. Flabbergasting.

Is it me or is Willam Belli (above) showing up every time I turn on the internet or television? I mean, aside from his guest-starring roles on La Cienega Blvd, he’s done everything from Nip/Tuck to Jay Leno to his latest star-turn in Christina Aguillera’s soon-to-debut music video. Read all about Will’s trials and tribulations HERE, but be forewarned, it’s funny, it’s flippant and it’s very, very entertaining. D-list my ass!

THE WHACKOFF OF THE WEEK has been on a little hiatus as of late, but this week’s edition is a not-too-shabby addition to an already stellar lineup:


This is a blog, entirely in French, but loaded with daily updates of some really hot guys. What I also love about the posting are that they include all ethnicities. I’ve always been a fan of the less-than-All-American looking guys. This is one hot blog.

EYE CANDY... This week puts a little more muscle into the mix, but not as much diversity. As always, your pics and suggestions for more diversity are appreciated. Email me if you’ve got something to share. Enjoy!

Look for next week’s edition to cover my time in Milwaukee and New York, as well as my thoughts on Pluto, Tom Cruise and other cosmic mistakes. I may even throw in some polygamist pot-shots. Who knows! I also had a chance to see Martin Short’s new show on Broadway, as well as the revival of Chorus Line still in previews. Both excellent, but for two totally separate reasons. More on that next week. Stay tuned.

My InfoGroup has recently gone through some major changes, with chat, polling and pics being added to the mix. If you haven’t signed up already, it’s fast and always free. Check it out by clicking on this link (and quickly getting a YAHOO! account if you don’t already have one).

Say goodnight Gracie.


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